My Body and Me

My Body and Me

Funny, but I don’t really feel that
I have cancer anymore.
It happened gradually, this lack of feeling
Increasing as the outside help dropped off,
The cards and emails decreased,
The “how ARE you?’s” diminished.
As other associated medical problems
Took over the focus—the lymphedema,
The compression fracture, the enlarged thyroid.
What hasn’t changed is how the care of this molecular vessel
I live in now dominates my days.
Exercises, self-massages, special nutrition, pill-taking
(which ones at which times), medical appointments,
and the continual assessment of new and unexpected twinges.
Just when I’m feeling more of a need to feed my soul,
my body is demanding its due.
Maybe heaven is the place where you live without awareness of your body.
At least that would be heaven for me.