Feeling Good

Feeling Good 071010




I’d forgotten how good feeling good feels. For three years I’ve had one or more side effects of surgery and/or chemotherapy—eyes so dry that I can’t wear my contacts, so dry I can hardly stand to open them in the mornings, muscles and bones achy and sore, taste buds and smell diminished, nails splitting into the quick, lips cracked, mouth and tongue sore, no hair or thin hair, various rashes, and a GI system that varies from not-quite-right to totally out of kilter. So when the confluence of circumstances gave me a longer time between infusions, plus the inability to take meds by mouth due to a short-lived but nasty GI bug, my body came through it as “pure” and empty of pharmacological poison as it was in my much younger days.



And oh! What a difference a few days without drugs makes. The joy of waking up feeling GOOD. The freedom of movement when nothing hurts. The actual, not imagined taste of seafood and chocolate birthday cake. Oh, joy! The pleasant, gently tired feeling at bedtime, not exhaustion and daytime naps.



But now, sniff, back to the “new normal.” The side effects. Now that I know my body is still capable of feeling good and working well, it makes taking the medicines voluntarily just that much harder. Whoever said “when you have your health, you have everything” sure knew what he was talking about.