Peggy's prompt-----shifting gears

Peggy’s Prompt— “shifting gears”

I’m shifting gears again. I’ve been in “drive” for a number of months, cruising along with the same meds, the same side effects, the same tumor markers, for long enough now that it—the condition—was beginning to feel “normal” (to paraphrase Prince Charles—whatever “normal” is). Anyhow, the bizarre night about 3 weeks ago when I kept waking up with a sharp cough (and now realize I was probably trying to catch my breath) was the beginning of the shift in the gears—a slide toward reverse, which I hope will some come to a stop and then shift again, probably at the beginning into first gear—slow and with lots of effort, but hopefully, quickly move into second and third and even fourth or overdrive—although I’d be more than happy with third gear. Just not this reverse, please. Not only do I not like the physical symptoms, but it scares me. I’m not a big fan of backing up. Going forward has always felt a lot better to me. Oh, my. This analogy is bringing on a cough. A bad sign I’ve slipped out of neutral again into reverse. Damn these gears, shifting without any input from me. Well, I’m ready to take control again. Bring on the new chemo and let’s shift back into first gear.