Tuesday, September 21, 2004

Riding in the Car

Riding in the Car


We always sat in the backseat—my sister and I—if Daddy drove. Mama sat beside him in the front on the wide bench seat. She always put her purse on the seat between them. The Chevy—it was always a Chevy—was humungous. The Chevys and Buicks and Cadillacs of that era were all baby Hummers, like baby elephants are the same concrete block shape as their Mamas. This one was huge and dirty white and rusted chrome on the outside and blue metal and vinyl padding inside, with vinyl seat covers that heated up to scalding temperatures when left out in the hot Florida sun.

On Sundays, Daddy would come home for dinner (lunch, really) after driving to the dock to check on his boat and leave the Chevy in the driveway to bake while we ate our dinner. Then it was time for the Sunday drive to the beach and down Indian River Drive. My sister and I would climb in the back seat in our shorts and halter tops. We’d sit with our legs raised up off the blistering seat covers and learn forward so our exposed skin wouldn’t touch the fiery seat back.

“Roll down the windows,” Mama’d say, fanning with her newspaper. We’d grit our teeth, press our lips together and lower our eyelids until we were seeing just through our eyelashes. Daddy would back out of the driveway, crank down his window and rest his elbow on the door frame where the hot breeze created by the forward motions of the Chevy crossed the threshold.

“Too much air back there?” he’d ask. My sister and I would look at each other. Which was worse—hot air blowing our hairdos to smithereens or….There was no “or”. It was a given that the answer was “no, Daddy.”

Car Keys

Car Keys

I don’t think Larry ever kept a car long enough to recognize his car key at just a glance. I’m not sure what you call it when spring comes and a man just has to buy a car, but “spring fever” or “sap rising,” whatever, Larry had it. Mostly he traded one car in on another, but not always. Twice he bought an old car from a friend when their car dealer was only going to give them $50 for it and he said, jokingly, he’d give $100.

That’s how he got Tankety-Tank, a gigantic ‘60’s era Ford that spent most of its time with us being lent out to friends who were temporarily without transportation. That’s why Tankety-Tank was parked at the curb on a very wide city street when the little blue-haired lady side-swiped it. We got $900 from the insurance company for the damage. Larry then sold the slightly dented car to a junk dealer for $50, making that the best car deal he ever brokered.

But before that we used to drive Tankety to places where we could use it for reverse snob appeal. Like to the Tanglewood Steeplechase where tradition has it that elegant cars filled with lovely overdressed people park by the track and serve up gourmet lunches before the horse races are run. You see Bentleys and Jags and Rollses with orchids on the hood and hired waitresses in French maid outfits pouring champagne into classy fluted glasses.

We took Tankety-Tank and four friends, adorned the hood with a Grolsch beer bottle holding a single yellow daffodil, the guys wore shorts and undershirts, and we women pretended to wait on them.

But that wasn’t the only one of Larry’s memorable cars. There was the Audi he bought from a friend which, of course, soon need work done on the transmission. It would start, but when you put it in gear, the motor would die. Larry took it to a small repair shop and left the Audi with them.

The next day he got a call from them. “Dr. Camp, I’ve got some good news and some bad news.”

“Such as?”

“The bad news is that your car was stolen from outside our shop before we had a chance to work on it. The good news is we found it about a block away. I guess the jerk who took it got mad when it wouldn’t keep running so when he abandoned it he locked the keys inside. Do you, by chance, have another set of car keys?”


BONDED WITH MISS KITTY

BONDED WITH MISS KITTY

If you’ve never been awakened in the middle of the night to the sound of a mama cat and her six kittens all purring at the same time, you haven’t really experienced life. If they are just outside the closed bedroom door, Mama Cat pressed up against the door and the six kittens pressed up against her, nursing, and all humming like a freight train, it can sound like an electric lawn mower. In fact, that’s the first thing that would cross my mind when I was awakened. “Why is someone mowing the lawn at 2 AM?” followed by “There aren’t any lawn mowers out here in rural Havana. There aren’t any lawns.”

This heartless human would yank open the door, snatch up Mama Cat and head up the hall toward the living room, saying to the now crying kittens, “C’mon kids. Mama’s moving the lunch counter.” I’d place Miss Kitty ever so gently on the corner of the couch, back pressed up against the soft cushions, and carefully lift each tiny, crying, black fluffball up next to Mama’s tummy, one nipple per kitty, Thank God. Now, wasn’t that much more comfy than that old floor? (And comfortably out of earshot of the bedroom, too.)

Back to bed I’d go, feeling a little guilty but also a little smug. Sure enough, can’t hear them from the bedroom now.

4 AM. The lawnmower again.

It’s clearly Miss Kitty’s doing. The kittens will be wherever Mama is. But Miss Kitty is sharing this experience with me. It has been like this ever since she gave birth to the kittens practically sitting in my lap. In fact, she did sit in my lap all through labor, with her big fat belly tensing up and her back legs straightening out like she was trying to reach the top of the counter—except she was horizontal in my lap. She only left my lap and crouched on the floor next to my leg when the first kitten crowned, and after that they came too fast for her to crawl back in my lap again. Plus, she had work to do, licking, and nuzzling, and nursing, and purring. Apparently she and I had bonded during these magical moments and she wasn’t about to leave me out of the special events that go with raising kittens. Like feeding them every two hours.

Her motto now was: If I’m up, you’re up.

Sunday, September 12, 2004

Mike (Electric) Mixer meets Suzy Sofa

Mike (Electric) Mixer meets Suzy Sofa

(as overheard by Gwendie Camp)

“Meet Mike Mixer,” said Bill Brush. “This here’s Suzy Sofa.”

“Pleased to meet you,” Suzy said softly.

She hoped she looked right. She wasn’t used to this new room yet. She’d spent most of her life up against the wall in the living room, under the large reprint of a lovely seashore scene. In fact, her teal polished cotton fabric had been selected specially to match the foam of the waves crashing in the picture.

“You haven’t been here long, have you?” said Mike Mixer. “I haven’t seen you at parties here before.”

“No, I just moved into the great room from the living room. I’m not even sure yet whether I’m going to like it here.”

“Oh, you’ll love it. There’s always something fun happening here. My specialty is mixing drinks. What’s your favorite drink? Brandy Alexander? Dacqueri? Mai tai?”

“Oh, I usually try to stay away from mixed drinks,” Suzy said. “I guess my favorite would be a big glass of cold water.”

“Oh, really? You should branch out a little. Fluff those pillows. Test those springs. Get a little dirt down behind the cushions.”

“Oh my gosh. I’d never do that. I really enjoy it when there’s a nice fire in the fireplace and my cushions get all warm and I feel so cozy.”

“Warm, huh? Well there’s plenty of other ways to feel warm besides a fireplace. Take my word for it. For example, suppose those teenage kids turn out the light and engage in a little hanky-panky right on your cushions, you know what I mean?”

“I most certainly do NOT know what you mean,” Suzy said. “Where I come from, the #1 company for family values in furniture, we are guaranteed to be comfortable but firm, suitable for the finest home.”

“Maybe so,” said Mike, “but you ain’t seen nothing yet.”

Family Pictures

Family Pictures

Sometimes I think I am more attached to the family pictures than I am to the family members they represent. I guess I’m lucky to be living during the Kodak epoch of human evolution because I have tons and tons, or more accurately, boxes and boxes of photographs, most of them of family members. My sister and I split up the many photographs my mother and father left—almost all in black & white, except for the ones of the grandchildren and of their 50th wedding anniversary party.

When I was a child, my Mother and my sister and I could spend a whole evening or a Sunday afternoon going through Mama’s boxes and albums of photos, memorizing by repetition that this one is of Aunt Olive just before she and Uncle William got married, and that one is of some long-ago friend from Oviedo. And here was Uncle Arthur, who my mother called Billy, in his dress blue navy uniform, the photo so precious now because he didn’t come home from the War. And here were my parents, looking young and beautiful and handsome and innocent, and different from how I knew them.

Over the years I’ve collected so many special photos—the ones in frames from my mother’s house of my two sets of grandparents, my father and all his brothers and sisters back when all were still living, my own little complicated family, with Larry and me and his two children and our child. And the photos of Jonathan in his special stages—young teenage idol, late teenage angry young man, little boy full of fun and love.

They say people rush to get their photographs when they have to evacuate their house. How would I ever choose among them?

Ironing

Ironing

I have never been able to iron without crying. It’s embarrassing to admit, but I always cry out of pity for myself. It starts with feeling sorry for myself that I “have” to do the ironing, even though Larry, my second husband did his own ironing when we were first married. I’m not generally much of a “poor me” person, but I just wallow in it if I’m ironing. Poor me who always had to iron the “rough-dry” clothes at home—Daddy’s work pants and things that didn’t get sprinkled. Things didn’t improve much when I got married and got a steam iron for a wedding present. This was in the days before permanent press fabrics and I had at least five days of outfits for both Dennis and me to iron each week. This brought on serious bouts of crying and sniffling and general gloom and doom.

I never was able to get over the crying when I iron, but I did manage to transition to permanent press, automatic dryer, dry cleaners, and commercial laundry for the bulk of what would otherwise have been me doing the ironing.

Perhaps early on ironing was a time and place where I could go on automatic pilot, leaving my mind free to wander to its dark places, places I normally would not allow myself to go. Later, I think it was a learned response, like Pavlov’s bell. Iron steams, I cry. Once the tears start, then I figure out something to cry about. It would always be something that wouldn’t be worth crying about, if I would have just heeded the message and fixed the problem, whatever I imagined it to be.

But, no, I just fixed the ironing, not the problems. And so, today, I do own an iron and an ironing board, but I couldn’t tell you exactly where they are.

Sunday, September 05, 2004

GRANDDADDY HUNTER

GRANDDADDY HUNTER


I’ve always had a special place in my heart for Granddaddy Hunter. Of all my four grandparents I identified with him the most, although, in some ways he was the least approachable. I don’t recall him being all that affectionate like my other Pa was, except for hello and goodbye kisses. But he was the most intellectual of the four and the best educated, although most of it was self-education.

He called me “love”. “Let’s go to the feed store, love.” “Don’t do that, love, you’ll scare the chickens.” During my early years, Granddaddy raised chickens—hundreds of chickens. I remember that the Orthodox Jews in Oviedo and then Orlando would buy their chickens from Granddaddy because he would kill them in the kosher way. I thought it was pretty gruesome, slitting their throats and then hanging them on a line until they bled to death. Anyhow, raising chickens for retail sales was how Granddaddy made the little bit of money they lived on. I got the impression from Grandmother, who outlived him by about 20 years, that he had plenty of ideas about how to make money and always thought that next year “his ship would come in.” Which it never did. My mother used to say that he wasn’t really a good husband, but that he was a good father. I thought he was great as a grandfather.

The stories he told were often about history. He was a great fan of history, and cared less about himself and his people. He kept up on current events and politics and got the morning AND the afternoon papers. My mother inherited his love of newspapers, and she and my father also read two papers every day—the Fort Pierce paper and the Miami paper. I’m a big newspaper reader myself.

I was Granddaddy’s first grandchild—he wound up with 9—and he spoiled me a little. He would take me to town in his ancient black Ford pickup truck, in which he carefully preserved the brakes by using them as little as possible. We would go to the Checkerboard Feed store so he could buy chicken feed in large flower-print cotton sacks that my mother then used to make my dresses until I was a teenager. Once he bought me a steel milking stool, which I still have. Then he’d take me to the Rexall Drug Store and we’d sit at the soda fountain and I’d get vanilla ice cream. It was the best ice cream I ever tasted and later in life I recognized a nearly identical taste in “French Vanilla” ice cream.

Granddaddy would play checkers with me, and he could see many moves ahead, and beat me in about 6 moves, capturing all my pieces. I didn’t much like losing but I was mightily impressed with his ability. Apparently in his younger days he had once run a general store, and I guess the fellows who hung around there playing checkers were a lot more competition than I was. Maybe that’s where he honed his arithmetic skills, also. He was an amazing arithmetician—adding/subtracting long columns in his head, with never a mistake. Poor Grandmother would write the chicken and egg orders down on paper and carefully tote up the columns. Granddaddy would glance at it and say, “Old woman, you’re off by 10 cents.” And Grandmother would re-do the figures and he was always right. My mother also had this gift for numbers and used it in her working days as a bookkeeper. I inherited the speed and learned some of the “tricks”, but, alas, I missed out on the accuracy. Jonathan seems to be carrying on some of the ability, especially to do work in his head.

Granddaddy had a sad end to his life. He had a major stroke and was in a coma for several days, and lost much of his memory and most of his physical strength. He came home from the hospital, but never worked or was normal again, gradually declining until his death about 5 years later. It was very sad, because for much of that time he was aware of his condition and hated the loss of his mental faculties. He’d say to me, “Oh, love, I just can’t think like I used to.” And we’d both cry.

PICKLES

PICKLES

My Mama made bread ‘n butter pickles just like her Mother did and her Mother before her. Before she died, my Mama carefully wrote out her recipe for bread ‘n butter pickles for me, so the tradition would continue. There’s one little problem. I don’t like bread ‘n butter pickles. I’m not much of a fan of any kind of pickles. But breaking the line of pickle-makers seems somehow sacrilegious or, at the least, uncaring.

Recently I’ve been giving some thought to producing a little cookbook that I could maybe give as Christmas presents to the family. I would include Mama’s bread ‘n butter pickle recipe in that, along with her version of banana pudding and Tollhouse cookies, both of which I do make and do love. Maybe that will do the trick. And then the curse of the bread ‘n butter pickles will be lifted, at least until I face Mama in Eternity, and she asks, as I know she will, “Well, did you make the bread ‘n butter pickles? Weren’t they great?”

Over a hot stove

Over a hot stove


Standing over a hot stove, my grandmother stirred the guavas. She’d spent all morning washing them, peeling them and scooping out the seed in the middle. The pink thick meat halves she had placed in her big speckled enamel pot. Now the burner on the white gas stove was going full blast and the guavas and the water and the sugar were beginning to bubble.

Guavas always ripened in the early summer which meant that the kitchen in the big two-story Sears & Roebuck frame house would be hot by ten in the morning, and with the guavas boiling down to a thick syrup it was murderously hot in that kitchen. But Grandmother whistled between her teeth as she stirred a little tuneless sound that I believed could only be made if you wore dentures like she did. While I stood in the doorway to the outside trying to catch a breeze, she held her spot over the hot stove, stirring and stirring to keep the guava mixture from sticking to the bottom of the pot.

The wide mouth Mason jars were lined up on the kitchen table beside her, and the lids and rubber seals sat on the drainboard behind her, already sterilized with boiling water. Everything about canning guavas involved heat. Even when my cousins and I had picked the fallen guavas up from the ground under the trees in the back yard the day before, it had been hot.

Years later, when my father would reminisce about his mother’s canned guavas, and go on and on about how you just can’t get good food like that anymore, I thought about the heat my Grandmother endured to make those treats for her family, and how that heat was matched by the strength of her love for us.